23.10.2007 (Tuesday)

I finally confronted him...
This should put a fullstop to all my doubts that I had for the past few weeks.. I always thought meeting up once a week is not alot to ask for and I have given him alot of breathing space but i was wrong. He told me that life should not be centered just among the two of us. I do understand that. He say he need to have his own time. But have i ever stop him from having his own activities? No I did not. Then why? He says he is afraid of letting me down, not able to marry me...etc. I asked him if his feelings has changed. He denied. Yeah... he answered my questions but still no conclusions.

What the hell does he wants?


20.10.2007 - 22.10.2007

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

First birthday greeting is from Deardear. He dug out a bag of stuff from his drawer and gave it to me. Not much surprise cause it is a robinson plastic bag and i could guess as much what is inside. It is a whole set of perfume with lotion and shower gel. Then he surprised me with a jumbo birthday card in a shape of a bear. Special part of the card is, he made a mini card tied with a ribbon onto the paw of the bear. It is an invitation card to a 3D2N stay at Downtown East chalet with a list of programs during the stay written by him..

So... Here we go for our short getaway..
I wasn't excited at all cause we are going through the down period of our relationship. All I feel is that he did it for the sake of doing. These 3 days passes slow... we were like doing our own individual things at the chalet except for the part that we went to the arcade and play basketball, the wild wild wet. No doubt we had fun but the feeling was low. I had to even remind him to blow the candles, sing a birthday song for me before the clock strikes twelve. He didn't even bother to take any pictures which I am quite particular about this. Sighhhhhh... This is the 2nd birthday which i feel sucky.

Did You Marry The Right Person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle.
In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.
You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.'
Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'Decision'... not just a Feeling...

It's only 8 mths! And I felt so damn sick of my job! I hate the part of chasing after people for responses and get sarcastic remarks for chasing. These people are really driving me nuts! Ask also wrong, don't ask also wrong! Damn it!

I have been feeling lousy. I borrowed Deardear's external hard disk to do some backup for my pc. And what the hell! The hard disk crashed lor! Due to some bad sector. His ex gf's Japan trip's photos are gone and he needs to burn into a cd for her which he has not done after so many months. And now i am responsible for it! Damn! It is going to cost $200-$400 to recover if we are sending it to Data Recovery Centre and there is no guarantee.

We are facing some problems recently as well. He told me that he is not able to share certain things with me because I behave like a kid. I am SO upset! That sentence really stirs my thoughts, feelings and my heart. I always thought that he can understand me but I was wrong...